In Hollywood movies, whenever a character is laid off, he or she will be shown exiting his/her former workplace, carrying a box full of stuff. One box. That's it.
That always strikes me as odd. That's all you have at your workstation?
After working at SMK Taman Melawati for 10 years, I still haven't completely cleared my workstation. I had always teased Kak Intan for being a hoarder. But since moving to another school and having to clear my stuff from the staff room, I realised that I was one as well.
Years of handouts, past-year questions, files, workbooks, stationery & reference books needed to be sorted and packed (or thrown) away. I did several trips back to Melawati to do this and yet it is still a work in progress. I came back so often that a student of mine, Adam Malik (whom I always seemed to bump into), remarked: "Teacher tak nak pindah kan sebenarnya..."
Rauf, a former colleague, said something similar: "Hah, menyesal la tu..." 😂
It has been one month since I first started working at SMK Seri Ampang (or better known as Ampang Road Boys School [ARBS]) and whenever I meet friends or former colleagues or students, I will be asked: "Best tak sekolah baru?" or other iterations of this fundamental question.
Truth be told, I miss Melawati terribly. During my first week at ARBS, I couldn't help but compare everything against Melawati (e.g. the school buildings, the landscaping, the canteen, the students' proficiency levels, etc.). I also miss my colleagues, especially my close friends, Kak Safrina, Kak Fidzah & Saiza.
I was struggling to adapt but I never regretted my decision.
I've always believed that Allah desires every facility for me and that He plans in my favour.
So, though the adjustment period has been rough, I'm constantly being given reminders that this is the best path for me.
Once, the reminder came in the form of a colleague saying, "Takde yang sempurna". She said this after she had asked me to compare and contrast my former & current school.
Another time, it was an Instagram post with the caption: "It is time to let go of the past. Make way for the good that Allah has in store for you and be thankful to Allah for it."
Whenever these moments arrived, I was stunned momentarily and grew more convinced that leaving was the right thing to do.
It happened again today. One of my current students, FA, has been absent from school for a long, long time and is about to be served the third warning letter. When I asked him about it, he opened up about his complicated family & financial problems. Reading his messages nearly made cry in the middle of attending a course. Sometimes, you really cannot fathom what these kids are going through.
Later, I met Kak Fidzah & Kak Saf for our weekly coffee session. I told them that I wanted to help this kid but I didn't know how. I find it unfair how certain kids have the odds stacked against them while others have all the advantages & privileges at their disposal.
Then Kak Fidzah repeated what was said to her when she first started teaching in Melawati:
"Syada, you're put there for a reason. Maybe you're exactly the kind of teacher those kids need."
I don't know whether that's true or whether I'm up for the job but I'll try 😢
