5 Averroes 2016

To my 5E kids

A year went by in the blink of an eye.

You'll be sitting for your SPM in 3 days' time and all the hugging from today's Majlis Mohon Restu has made me nostalgic.

I want you guys to know that I've enjoyed being your class teacher tremendously. We always had so much fun during English lessons and I'll definitely miss all your jokes and antics.

Forgive my shortcomings; I think I should have been an adultier adult and not let you guys get away with soo many things tsk tsk. (2017 resolution: Run a tighter ship!)

My hope is that all of you achieve true success, in this life and in the hereafter. And that you'll make a positive contribution to the world, in small or big ways.

I love you guys.

Take care & all the best!

Here are some recaps of the fun times we had had (combed from my fb timeline):

This group did 2 chemistry experiments for their English presentation: Chemical Garden & Elephant's Toothpaste.

Ammar prefaced their presentation with the weirdest and most memorable opening line ever:

"Kids, watch where you're stepping...

Because Papa is going to drop some knowledge."

He delivered the line with such panache (i.e. Ted Mosby-like) that it was greeted with loud cheers and laughter.

XXX

I don't usually blow a gasket in class.

And technically I didn't but when my students didn't do the work I had asked them to, I just expressed how *disappointed* I was.

Kirtina said that I was very good at that (guilt tripping students).

Anyway, afterwards, I found this letter on my table and subsequent lessons had a different feel to it.

The kids have been extra nice to me (it feels like they're walking on eggshells so as to not upset me again) and they have been producing above average work. It's clear that they've been putting in extra effort in the ongoing ULBS presentation and I'm very impressed by what they have come up so far.

So maybe I need to employ this God-given guilt-tripping ability more often? 

XXX

A: Teacher, I just saw an angel

Me: What are you talking about?

E: He's talking about his crush teacher

Me: Ohhhh

A: Yes, the angel just walked through the gates of hell

Me: What??

A:  She just entered the school compound...

Pandai guna metaphor ehhh

XXX

Some of my 5E kids were trying very hard to increase their marks for English.

They tried every possible tactic to get me to change my mind.

I didn't relent and told them; "You know, in 5 years' time, it won't matter if you got 2 extra marks for a monthly test. You won't even remember whether you got 86 or 88 for English."

The students responded with, "But teacher, we'll remember you *kindness* and *generosity* in awarding extra marks to your students."

Good try kids but no, flattery will not work either.

XXX

The students were brainstorming ideas for their section of the school yearbook.

Several themes were suggested:

Star Wars

Gatsby
Ambition
Hipster

Syafiq asked the girl next to him, "Theme Ambition tu macam mana?"

The girl replied, "Kena pose jadi your ambition. Macam, what do you want to be?"

Syafiq, without skipping a beat, replied, "I want to be with you."

Smooth Syafiq, very smooth...

XXX

For our class photoshoot, the kids have really gone all out dressing up as flight attendants, doctors, veterinarians (Iffa even brought her cat as a prop), lawyers, imam, film directors, etc.

Khairul, our in-house photographer, has done a very good job of taking the pictures. They turn out real nice.

Today the students asked me what I would be posing as.

"Do I have to?"

"Eh, mesti la Teacher. Tapi Teacher tak boleh jadi teacher. Kena jadi benda lain."

"Okay, give me some ideas."

"Imran dressed up as a Prime Minister yesterday (complete with the Jalur Gemilang & I Love PM banner). Why don't you be Rosmah?"

XXX

Imran was absent on Monday because he had a fever. When I saw him today, I asked him how he was feeling.

"I'm okay Teacher, it's just that now I have a sexy voice."

"Sexy? Says who?"

"Says me"

"Hurm okay"

I started to walk away but he was insistent:

"It's sexy kan Teacher? Am I right?"

XXX

Some of my students took part in a Solar Car Competition today.

One of them had this as his whatsapp status:

'Come home victorious or don't come home at all'.

"So menang tak?" I asked

"Might have to find a new home today" came the sheepish reply.

XXX

R: Teacher, cover your ears, we're about to begin our council.

Me: What council?

R: (in an officious voice) It's the Council of Men

Me: Am I not an honorary member of your council?

R: Are you a man?

Me: Urm, no.

R: Then you're not... as this is The Council of Men.

Me: Fair enough, may I know what does this council do?

R: It discusses, you know, MANLY stuff.

XXX

An example of students seeking divine intervention for their SPM Trials:

H: Teacher, I wanted you to pray for our Physics paper, but I would rather you pray that we'll win the gold medal tonight.

Me: Why? Is there a quota or something? Am I allowed only one prayer per day?

H: No Teacher, if we win the gold medal, we'll have a public holiday tomorrow!

#Rio2016

XXX

Today, my students sat for, yet another, mock exam.

When I entered the class to start the English paper, the students looked weary and tense.

Some were frowning, some had furrowed brows, bulging veins on their foreheads, etc.

I tried to get them to relax:
"Just think of it as another practice session. Don't worry too much about it.
No exam is worth risking your mental health."

"Well it's a little too late for that Teacher," came the wry reply.

XXX

I examined the Panadol, tissue, Brands chicken essence & minyak angin on a student's desk during examination.

Me: What's all these?

Hong: Things a stressed student needs.

Another student brought a big box of tissue.

"What's with the tissue?" I asked.

"To cry," the boy answered succinctly.

#sambiljawabsambilmenangis

XXX

A: Teacher, after SPM, could you text me every day and remind me to exercise?

Me: Every day? What's in it for me?

A: You'll get one hot student.

Thanks for the memories :)

QNAIB

Yesterday (Oct4) was spent getting the Block C Hall ready for PMR. 160 candidates are to sit for their lower-secondary examination in that hall. So, a good 3 hours was spent arranging the tables and chairs, sweeping the floors, taking down the curtains and things pasted on the bulletin boards, scrubbing the graffiti off the tables, emptying their drawers, pasting the exam slips on each table and lastly, hanging a big clock in front of the hall.

After all that hard work, the students were allowed to go home. As was tradition, many chose to look for their teachers instead to ask for forgiveness and blessings. So the staff room was packed with students surrounding their teachers. Some students were more dramatic than others. Haha. Some giggled when they confessed to their wrongdoings ("Saya tahu saya tak buat kerja Teacher"), some even shed a few tears.

Looking back on 2010, I couldn't believe I had survived another year of teaching. Though schools will officially end on Nov 19, my core job is basically finished. After 9 months of teaching 185 15-year-olds, I can finally let out a sigh of relief.

I've had my fair share of ups and downs. Here are my 2010 memories according to the classes that I teach:

3 QUDUS



My favourite class. I know I'm not supposed to play favourites, but I'm human after all. I taught 3 Qudus for a semester in 2009, so we were already familiar with each other. I could implement any sort of lesson in this class and they would participate in the tasks enthusiastically. That reciprocity spurred me on.

We sang songs, did presentations, acted a play, watched a movie and even held a lesson outdoors (though this one turned out to be bad idea because we were bitten mercilessly by mosquitoes).

The students offered me footballing updates without my asking. And regularly named characters in their essays after Arsenal footballers/manager. They probably thought that they'd get extra marks for that. They didn't.

3 NEKAD



The class that took the longest time to warm up to me. Most of them are already proficient in English, so they didn't take the subject seriously. But they loved playing Hangman, target puzzles and other language games. Thus, each time I entered the class, the students would collectively shout, "GAMES!". They made me feel like a game show host. Haha.

My most unforgettable memory with them was when I was observed by by another teacher. The class was very quiet. They were on their best behaviour. When the teacher left, the class erupted in a rapturous applause. They were congratulating themselves for their impeccable "performance". I hadn't told/bribe them to act nice. They did so of their own accord.

3 AMANAH



The most quiet class I have ever taught. Seriously. You could hear a pin drop. But all that undivided attention and obedience lasted for... 2 months?

Then a transformation began. And it proved to be irreversible, mirroring the novel we were studying for literature, "Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde". From good, well-behaved students, they turned into something completely different. I still wonder how on earth did I squander my absolute authority over that class.

But despite their misbehaviour, I still love them. Teachers are like that. We forgive easily. But students have to remember that saying sorry is not an excuse to commit more mistakes.

3 INTELEK



Besides teaching them English, I'm also their class teacher. They're okay I guess. They don't have major disciplinary problems so I'm grateful for that. They're just noisy. And malas (<---that was a bit harsh but it's really hard getting them to do any work).

I often received complaints from other subject teachers about them but what could I do? I'm a lousy disciplinarian. The only teacher that they don't dare mess with is their Ustaz. I happened to pass by the class one day when Ustaz was teaching. And I was amazed by what I saw: The students were all seated in their seats; Everybody was quiet and paying attention; All eyes were on Ustaz while he was delivering his lesson.

Wow. It was like witnessing a miracle.

3 BAKTI

My weakest class in terms of proficiency. Half of the boys have chronic avoidance of work. They often came late to class after the assembly. They took a detour to the toilet for their ciggy break but they claimed that they were stopped by the discipline teacher instead (or any other excuses that they had concocted and perfected).

Once, when I pointed out that they smelled of cigarettes, Hadi replied with mock-innocence, "Macam ni ke bau rokok? Saya tak tahu cikgu sebab saya tak pernah hisap rokok".

The whole class burst into laughter and I just gritted my teeth. Had to admit that that was a funny answer. Despite all the disciplinary problems that the class posed, I still enjoyed teaching them. They are a handful to manage but they are not disrespectful. Most of them are just craving for attention.

X X X

I like teaching 15-year-olds. They are at that stage where they're not so childish anymore yet they are still malleable compared to the fourth and fifth-formers.

I don't know whether I'll be teaching them again next year but for the record, I had a great 2010.