3I & 3H

Years ago, a sister of mine often talked about her favourite lecturer, Mr. K.

Mr. K had such a strong command of his subject that he would only bring one marker pen to his lectures. He didn't need to refer to any books to aid him in explaining theories, answering students' queries, solving tricky questions, etc. Now, that's what I call mastery of content knowledge.

In contrast, I remember my first year of teaching, where I would go to classes armed with textbooks, grammar workbooks, the dictionary, handouts of filler activities, etc.

I felt that I needed to equip myself with all kinds of materials to cope with any possibilities that might arise.

I often second-guessed myself too. I couldn't stick to one lesson plan. Whenever I came up with one, I would poke holes into it:

"It's not interesting enough!"

"It's not challenging enough!"

"You're going to bore your students to death!"

So in the end, I often stood in front of the class, armed with STUFF, but having absolutely no clue of what to do.

I think, in this respect, teachers are like homemakers; teachers worry themselves sick about lesson plans as homemakers do about what they should cook for dinner.

Homemakers do not only want to put dinner on the table, they want the food to be delicious, nutritious, special and prepared with lots of love.

Similarly, teacher do not just want to enter the classroom and say "turn to page so-and-so and do the exercises". They want the lesson to be interesting, challenging, inspiring and pitched at the right level.

Sadly, our efforts went unnoticed and unappreciated most of the time. Kids are glued to their computers when they're called to dinner and not all students would do the work assigned to them in class.

X X X

In 2012, I achieved a breakthrough of sorts. I was beginning to figure out and be comfortable with my teaching style. Of course it needed further refinement but the foundation was set and I was gaining confidence day by day. I even noticed that I had begun to march to class with a little bit of swagger. Haha.

[So for struggling beginning teachers out there; take heart. You'll get there eventually!]

However, at the end of March, when I was assigned 5N, some of that confidence dissipated away. Remember what I said about not having a clean slate?

Well, when I first entered 5N, I felt like I was transported back in time when I was still that hapless teacher. My swagger was crippled and whenever I was heading to Block E, I would break out in cold sweat instead.

But things worked out in the end. I just had to learn to trust my abilities and believe that I have valuable things to impart.

I love the quotation below taken from the book See Me After Class by Roxanna Elden (which I strongly recommend to all fellow teachers):

"On a bad day, I remind myself that when I look back on my own experience as a student, I don't remember specific lesson plans. In the end, we remember teachers, but the individual days  fade into the background. Forgive yourself for those rough days and bad lessons, and keep trying - because that's what the kids will remember"

X X X

I planned to talk about my Form 3 classes in this entry but ended up writing the above paragraphs instead. 

So, let me start over:

The Form 3 students that I taught this year are quite weak in English (with a few exceptions). Marking their essays was a torturous experience and it was a struggle to get them to do any work in class.

3 Intelek was the noisiest class I had this year. They were also the funniest. The naughtiest boys in that class also happened to be the friendliest ones when I met them outside.

They would smile and greet me enthusiastically whenever we crossed paths, oblivious to the fact that they drove me nuts in class!

3 Harmoni boys were roughly the same. So to preserve my sanity, I just concentrated on the conscientious learners (read: the girls) in class. 

An incident that involved 3H that I'll never forget was when they had to fill in a form evaluating me. I wasn't supposed to administer the evaluation myself but the teacher-in-charge was facing a looming dateline, so he told me to get 5 students from the class to assess me.

Let's disregard the invalidity of the exercise for a moment.

When I read the criteria they were supposed to assess me on, my heart sank. The criteria were:

1. Menepati masa (Punctuality)
2. Berpakaian kemas dan sesuai (Appropriately-dressed)
3. Mengajar dengan suara yang jelas (Has a clear voice)
4. Menggunakan bahasa yang mudah difahami (Uses comprehensible language)
5. Sentiasa membimbing murid memahami pelajaran (Guides the students to understand the lesson)
6. Ada menggunakan alat bantu mengajar (Uses teaching aids)
7. Menyemak dan mengembalikan buku latihan murid (Checks & returns the students' work)
8. Mengawasi disiplin murid dalam kelas dengan baik (Has good classroom management)
9. Mengambil berat tentang kehadiran murid di dalam bilik darjah (Is particular about attendance)
10. Sentiasa memberi peluang kepada murid untuk bertanya (Gives students the opportunity to ask questions)
11. Mementingkan keceriaan bilik darjah (Emphasises classroom cleanliness)

Half of the criteria listed weren't really my strong points. If they had included things such as: 'Has good rapport with students' or 'Exhibits empathy', I might stand a chance of scoring better.

But surprisingly, when I collected the forms, all of them gave me mostly threes or fours (the instrument uses a 4-point Likert scale).

I knew that I didn't deserve the marks given but was deeply touched that the students liked me enough to overlook my faults. :')

I'm reminded of this quote: "Your students will not remember what you taught them... but they will remember forever the way you made them feel.”

So, teach your students and love them!